Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
