I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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