we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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