I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
