I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
