I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
