Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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