I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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