Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize