I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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