Pants 0. Shit 1.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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