maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize