One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize