we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
