Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's blow job season.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need to align my fucking chakras
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
