Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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