thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
