so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
