Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
