Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
