Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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