there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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