Will you blow on my dice?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
