We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize