You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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