Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
