Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
