You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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