So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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