Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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