She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
