Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
