Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
