That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
