she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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