I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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