Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
