i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
