A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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