just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
