You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
