I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
