do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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