My Higher Power is John Stamos
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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