Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
