Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I supernannyed him into submission
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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