I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
