i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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