I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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