I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
