If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
