You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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