my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
