sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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