She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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