youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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