Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
too bad you live with your parents still
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
