I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
