So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Randomize
