Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I touched a dick in church today
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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