i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
