oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
