Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
