she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
