I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
