somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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