I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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