At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
