No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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