she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
